Fear is universal and has been around since our caveman days. Yet, many of us still mistakenly believe that it is unique to us—that we alone are held back by this invisible force, that we alone are afflicted. This perception is not just misleading; it’s paralyzing. The first step in conquering fear is realizing that it is not a personal flaw but a fundamental part of human existence.
Fear originates in the amygdala, a small yet powerful part of the brain responsible for our survival instincts. This ancient mechanism has been hardwired into our DNA for thousands of years, alerting us to potential threats and preparing us to either fight or flee. Both responses—fight and flight—are essential to survival, ensuring that we can defend ourselves or escape danger when necessary.
But here’s the problem: while our ancestors faced physical threats like wild animals, today’s fears often stem from modern challenges—public speaking, starting a business, taking risks, or facing rejection. Despite this shift, our brain still reacts as if our very survival is at stake.
Understanding that fear is a natural response rather than a weakness gives us power over it. When we recognize that fear is just our brain trying to protect us, we can separate ourselves from its grip. Instead of letting it dictate our actions, we can observe it, acknowledge it, and then choose our response.
I have gotten quite good at this but only over the past 20-25 years or so. My Dad got sick at 39, heart surgery at 40, and never worked after that, so money was a big deal for me and my two younger brothers – like free government cheese and heating oil subsidies kinda tight. Ever see your breath while taking your morning shower? (He lived another 38 years, surprising all of us.) But the fear of not having enough money lives big inside my family and tackling that fear of not being able to provide mixed with my need to start companies and not take a salary for a while is a pretty wicked set of mental gymnastics.
Once we understand the source of our fear, we have two choices:
- Run Like Hell – We can let fear control us, avoiding situations that make us uncomfortable, retreating from challenges, and staying in our comfort zone. But in doing so, we also run from growth, opportunity, and individual success.
- Laugh at Our Ancient Brain and Slay the Fear – We can remind ourselves that the fear response is simply outdated programming. We are no longer living in caves, and our fears are often exaggerated. By recognizing this, we can choose to move forward despite fear—speaking up, taking action, and embracing challenges.
My Dad never understood leaving a high salaried job for this squishy idea / startup journey. He couldn’t as he lived with his fear every day and had no idea how to combat it.
Fear doesn’t disappear overnight. It requires continuous awareness, conscious choices, and diligent practice. But by shifting our mindset from being a victim of fear to being in control of it, we open doors to opportunities we once thought were impossible.
Hi, Dad. No worries, your sons all made it through with more than enough money and are all either retired or retiring this year. You should be proud.